Love Lens

💌 a Valentine special

Feb 12, 2026

📣 Special thanks to my guest for her honest and honestly sweet responses to all my seven questions. This Sisi Eko is grateful.

I wanted to see the dynamics of love, from the lens of an older and more mature person, and Aunty Wendu was the one who came to mind.

Buckle down and enjoy. And thank her for me, too.

🤎 My Questions, Her Answers!

🥹~home is a person

Growing up, what was your idea and what were your beliefs about love?
Believe it or not, I was a serial dater growing up — especially in university. Blame it on unwarranted and excessive attention and not enough coaching on what to do with that as a young teenager.
But one thing that really shaped my idea of love was this: I gave guys only three months to determine if I thought the relationship would lead to marriage. I always wanted to be married very young. At some point, I told my dad I was going to get married at 18 and he almost unalived me that day 😂.
Now that I’m grown, I get why. But yes — within three months of dating someone, I’d know if that relationship was heading somewhere. If I didn’t think he was my husband, I’d end it and move on to the next person on my list of toasters.
Young as I was, it turns out I was right; because it only took my husband and I six weeks of dating to get married.
I've read about your love story. That's how I found about your publication 🥹😅. But for the benefit of those who haven't heard it, do share it again.
Funny thing is that every time I tell this story, I’m reminded that I love this man, and I’m so thankful for the way God wrote our own story.

So, 13 years ago, I had a chance encounter with my husband in school. We were at the University of Lagos. At the time, there was no way I could have known I would end up marrying him. He was best friends with this guy who was dating my best friend at the time. They were both very popular, and of course, he noticed me as a fine babe (as he should 😌), but nothing happened. Just a brief hello, and everybody moved on.
Months later, gist started flying around campus that this same guy, a popular club boy, had suddenly become serious about the Lord. And you know how Nigerians can be. Once you become serious about God, they will brand you a pastor immediately, because lukewarm Christianity and dining with God and the devil was very common in that setting (especially at that time). So the word on the street was basically: “ah ah, that guy is now a pastor o.”
Fast forward again, as God would have it, I had another chance encounter with him one night. He started talking to me about Jesus and also told me about his fashion business( it was still in the early stages then) and I ended up patronizing him.
I love this part because my husband later told me that moment was pivotal for him. In his own account, it was like a test of faith: will you pursue this fine babe knowing fully well she hasn’t surrendered all her being to the Lord whom you have sworn allegiance to… or will you leave her and follow God?
And he chose the latter, which is crazy because God still gave him the former anyway. Seek first the Kingdom of God, even when choosing a partner. But I digress.
Years passed. Life happened. I moved to Canada. My relationship with God was on the upward trend, and I was vocal about my faith on Instagram . He noticed and would message me every now and then. But relationships were not even at the forefront of my mind, seeing that before moving to Canada, that was all I could think about. Then in 2022, he reached out to me again on Instagram, and I thought it was just an innocent message. I was wrong🥹.
Before you know it, he asked for my number, called me, and we spoke for 4 hours on our first call. One thing I remember clearly is that he was very upfront about his intention to marry me from that very first call. Somebody say energy, haha.
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As I prayed, God told me to go ahead and marry him, but I never told him until we were actually planning our wedding. Never let them know your next move, hehe. I kept it between God and me, and I was just observing the guy.
Eventually, I planned a visit to Nigeria because I needed to see this man in person. Because after all these years, I needed to confirm things. Was he still lanky? How tall was he again? Was he still fine? (Important questions please 😅). When I got there, and I hugged him for the first time, it was clear that I had found my home. Things progressed very quickly after that.
Long story short, we dated for less than two months and got married. Six weeks. God does not waste time when it is your time.
How has your experience with marriage shaped your view of love?
First of all, love the world’s way and love God’s way are two completely different things. The world’s version of love is often selfish, transactional, and very performance-based. People love because someone does what they want, how they want. But the love of God is weighty. It is not fickle.
Marriage has shown me the unconditional love of God in a very practical way. God loves because He is love. God doesn’t love you because you earned it today. God doesn’t love you because you performed well. God loves you because that’s who He is. And the best part is He chose you to be loved by Him, all you can do is bask in His love, receive His love and love Him back.
Also, God is faithful even when we are faithless. That part is so sobering because if we’re being honest, many of us would have left ourselves. But God keeps chasing. God keeps calling. God keeps pulling you back. God keeps giving you room to repent. God keeps saying, “Come.”
And one of the assignments of marriage is your growth. Because it is a tool for sanctification, it will expose you, show you your pride, show you your selfishness. It will show you where you still need healing. And it will force you to lean on grace.
Another thing marriage has taught me is that I’m not the prize or better still I’m not the only prize. If you enter marriage thinking you are the only prize, you will not be a good wife. Your husband is a king too. After all, his Daddy is also a King. And no, this is not a pick-me narrative. It is simply fact.
Your husband is also a gift. He is also someone to be honoured. He is also someone to be poured into. He is also someone to be loved intentionally.
Marriage has taught me that love is sacrificial. Love is proven by giving. God loved…so He gave His Son. Why do you think your own love will not require things from you?
Love God’s way is hard because it is a daily dose of dying. A daily surrender. A daily letting go. Love is deeper than butterflies in your tummy when you see his call on the phone.
Love will require you to give up mindsets that are not helpful for this new phase of life. Give up wrong ideologies society presents as the “woke” thing. Give up your time to support the vision he has casted for your family. Give your body to carry the next generation. Give your heart wholly without saving a slice for the day you think the shoe will drop.
Because if you’re waiting for that day somewhere in your mind — just don’t bother. Marriage is not the place for hidden exit plans.
“Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
🍀1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4-‭8‬ ‭CSB‬‬
Two kids and a heap of responsibilities later, it's clear that love transcends the initial butterflies and flowery feelings. Share with us how you've dared 'stay in love' even after the changes in your life and schedule.
Honestly, we are still figuring this out daily, and my husband deserves applause because he is the more intentional one. Maybe it’s because he is the man and husbands are wired to pursue their bride like Christ pursues the church. Maybe it’s because it is easier for moms to become more fixed on the kids that they lose sight of the love that produced the child in the first place. (or maybe it’s just me, let me not speak for others 😭)
But a few things that have helped us:
One is building a culture where we pray together and are taught of God together. It makes a huge difference because if you are truly being vulnerable with God, anything that hasn’t been tended to because of “busyness” will eventually be flagged. And prayer time is a safe place to trash things out.
Also having regular touchpoints. Weekly. Monthly. Random check-ins. Whatever works. We are actively trying to do this more for sure.
Another big one is doing what you used to do before kids came and still bringing the kids into it. For us, we walked a lot. And walking is underrated because there’s no distraction. No phones. No TV. No pretending. You will talk.
Even if you start the walk upset with each other, one hour on the road? Ahh… you will settle it. You cannot underestimate communication and vulnerability. So in the warmer months, as much as we can, we go on walks together and the kids love it too.
Also, find ways to have fun together and leverage your community so you can have alone time. It’s not always realistic, but it’s worth it. Life can be life with kids, so having someone who will fight for your love no matter what helps. Most times it is my husband, let me not lie — actually 99.9% 🥹!
Thank God for godly husbands.
What is your admonition to the guys and girls looking to one day find love and start a family?
First of all, God hates divorce. So if divorce is an option for you, don’t bother entering marriage. Marriage is serious business. If it’s vibes only for you, jump and pass.
If you’ve never thought of your marriage beyond your wedding day, are you truly ready to be married?If as a woman, you are driving the vision and direction of your home, or choosing men based on how much you can control them to conform to your preference — repent and change your ways. I speak to believers only.
Marriage is eternal. It is serious business. You are going into a blood covenant. Don’t choose carelessly if you are still single, and adjust accordingly if you are already married.
God is seriously invested in your marriage.
What's your favorite love story(from Scripture), if you have any?
I’ve never really romanticized the stories in the Bible, so I don’t know that I can truthfully claim having a favorite love story. But one story that has always struck me deeply is Hosea and Gomer.
For context, God wanted to show Israel their whorish ways through a prophet. And He told Hosea to marry a prostitute. Yes — a prostitute. This woman kept running after other men. Kept returning to the streets. Kept breaking covenant. Kept embarrassing him. Kept leaving and coming back. And yet Hosea’s love for her was unrelenting.
It’s such a heavy picture of the Gospel because it’s not just Israel. It’s us.
We go our own way even after we say with our mouths that we have accepted God. We keep returning to the game sins. We keep justifying the same habits. We keep repenting and going back.
I remember the Lord speaking to me after committing a sexual sin. My excuse to Him was that I didn’t want to break my boyfriend’s heart. And the Lord said: “In not breaking his heart, you broke Mine.” Kai. I was stunned, went on my knees crying for forgiveness— for my then boyfriend and I.
But did that stop us days later from yielding to the flesh? No. Did God stop pursuing me? No. So examine that sin that keeps drawing you in even after you’ve pledged allegiance to your Lover: masturbation, pornography, fornication, adultery, lying, stealing, pride — whatever the case might be.
Then consider Jesus: the One who suffered greatly so you could be delivered from the pangs of sin and its consequence. Tell yourself: He must increase and I must decrease, because as it is written, nothing good comes out of the flesh. Then turn.
Today is a good day not to harden your heart to your relentless Lover. And if you’ve never experienced His love, turn. He died for you too and wants you to enjoy Him on this earth before we meet Him in glory.
Jesus is sweet o. The world has mastered the art of packaging sin like the greatest thing, but believe me… Jesus is sweet and holiness has a great reward.
Finally, what is your favorite thing about being in love with the person you have chosen?
My husband is a yielded child of God — like God can talk to him and he will listen. I cannot stress how much peace I enjoy in my marriage for that mere fact and how much mental strength it affords me to wade off the enemy’s lies.
If you marry a man that God can correct, restrain, direct, lead — you have yourself a good husband. And, please women, be submitted to the Lord and His instructions too so you don’t frustrate the grace of God on his life.
So yes, growing in love with someone who is growing in God, growing in his love walk, growing in his understanding of me, and growing in his desire to get this thing right… it is a beauty.
And it’s one thing I cannot take for granted.

♥️Thank you for reading! Happy Valentine's!

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